I wan't to look away but I can't!

I found this novel to be a disturbing yet consuming read. Like you want to look away but can’t stop staring. The exploration of autonomy in the relationship between the young girl and the wealthy man challenges our instant victimization of the girl. She is a victim of being preyed upon by someone much older than her but she is knowing of this. She decides to challenge that idea of being prey and flips the narrative to show she is not complacent. 

She wrote of her love for her mother but says she can’t remember if she wrote of her hatred for her too. This dynamic can only coexist under the context of family. To have such a strong, powerful love for the ones you share blood with but to also have an undercurrent of hatred for them too. This is shown in her relationship with her mother as she attempts to “sell herself” for her family’s liberation, encouraged by her mother. 


“The child knows what she’s doing is what the mother would have chosen for her to do, if she’d dared.” 


This quote shows how you can be so willing to do something for a loved one yet simultaneously hate them for being the reason you do it. The girl resents her mother but she is also doing the bidding for her by trying to find a partner to support them. The girl is also afflicted with the same fantasy of escape as her mother and she searches for it in her lovers. Content with just being “one of his lovers” she loses herself in this role. Limiting herself to this role creates this sort of simplicity to life that she sought. While this serves as an escape for the girl, it is also a conscious decision for her. It is a source of bodily autonomy for her. Her desire does not equate to inferiority. The girl dominates the lover by seeming passive, using the male gaze to her advantage. She is surprisingly cunning and manipulative for a 15 year old. I guess it isn’t so surprising though as her mother has allowed and even encouraged her daughter to act this way, using her femininity as a form of manipulation.


Their relationship is one that is founded upon difference. They come from different backgrounds, social status, and races, not to mention the big one; different ages/stages of life. When she first meets him she says; “There’s the difference of race, he’s not white, he has to get the better of it, that’s why he’s trembling.” Perhaps he is also trembling because he knows that this is wrong, she is too young and he shouldn't be doing this. Or perhaps it’s because he knows the outcome, his father wouldn’t approve; a fear proven to be true. He becomes all too aware in this moment of their differences. He knows that there are too many factors here, interacting negatively for this to work out. This fear ends up coming to fruition as in the end, their race and other factors is what forces them to part ways and for the lover to marry his arranged bride.


My question for you: How does age play a role in dynamics here? If she had been closer to him in age would that have changed the dynamic at all?



Comments

  1. TesiMarch 12, 2024 at 10:44 PM

    Lauren,I’m glad you bring up the maternal dynamics. They certainly play an important role in shaping the girls character and decision making. I thought the first quote you picked was very powerful and it’s one of the ones that stayed with me through the novel.

    Thanks for your comment!
    - Tesi

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